With so many people catching flack for making analogies to larger than life events, I thought it would be wise if all athletes and sports people could simply use the following phrase whenever something comes up — “It’s like nothing in the history of everything than anyone has ever seen before.”
Reggie Bush considers his ostracism from USC to be “like death without dying.” No problem here. No one who has died will be around to be offended by my new catch all. Tim McCarver can apologize for pulling a Jemele Hill/Lou Holtz and linking the New York Yankees to Nazis and the big dog of political seduction, Joseph Stalin. Dwyane Wade can apologize for continuing to spell his name that way and for not really saying what the media said he said.
We’ve got everyone covered — except for the ADL. I am sure they have tabs on everyone who has ever seen anything and can rustle up one offended corpse or future corpse. I hope they find the offended corpse first. It’ll be like nothing I’ve ever seen.