Absence of Malice – Kobe Bryant

The malice is only absent if you’re Tayshaun Prince and you’ve swatted enough Kobe jumpers to feed your family for a generation. If you’re Manu Ginobli or Marcos Jaric, it’s gonna be all elbows, all night. I wonder what Kobyatchi is so upset about. Everyone gets their J smacked into their face every once in awhile. Sure, it’s been happening a bit more often than usual, but maybe if he went to the hole after getting a step this wouldn’t happen. In any event, the solution is not to start pimp slapping all the European players in the league. Someone might think you have it out for them.

The solution is also not to pimp slap someone like Ruben Patterson because Ruben might whoop your ass. Perhaps a bit of meditation would go a long way. See the three, be the three. A one game suspension is just what the doctor ordered.  Of course, some other doctors might have ordered one large dose of Ruben.

A Clean, Slap-Free Jumper (Kobe, in happier times)


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